vamp: dm

AP – Polly Pocket Reps fear a PR disaster is imminent after Wednesday’s near-fatal crisis aboard a Polly Pocket Bowing 747 flying round-trip from Kids Room to Mama Office and back to Kids Room. A cute, fluffy boy, Chippie Hamster was aboard when he pushed his way half way through the window beside his seat. When he started the suicide jump, the Captain Cameron was alerted of the jumper and landed the jet quickly. “I was weally lucky that Allison, my head flight attendant, saw the jump in pwogress.” said Cameron. It appeared that Hamster’s hips were too wide to fit through the window. Luckily, EMS arrived on the scene soon. “ I just didn’t know what to do. I tried to pull him through and then push him back in…he was stuck….he was just squirming, pooping…it was awful.”, said EMS veteran Karen Minor.

Another EMS vet Scott Minor, knew there was no other way to get Hamster out other than to cut him out. So Minor and Minor worked as a team, with the jaws of life and cut through the fuselage. Witnesses at the scene say Scott Minor used super human strength to bend back the material between the windows so Mr. Hamster could escape. Hamster was checked for injuries and taken back home to rest. When asked about his heroic actions, S. Minor said, “Whatever”.

Hamster resides in Kids Room and lives next door to him brother, Chip Hamster.