Triumphant and Shaken
Posted by dminor Fri, 24 Oct 2003 23:28:00 GMT
I crossed the border today. It no longer verges on war. War has begun.
Squirrels keep eating through the wood on my house and living inside. To make matters worse, they are very aggressive and vocal about the fact that I’m coming near “their” front porch. I don’t like it. I read that there is not much I can do except trap them. My Grandmother has been a squirrel-hunter for several years—trapping and drowning the things!
I went out the front door to get the mail today and one was on the front porch. He didn’t jump for the ground or the trees. He jumped onto the porch and ran behind a box that was propped against the house. I kicked the box, shoving it against the house again and again. I won’t go into a lot of the details, but there was a distinctive moment when he knew that the fight was over. He let out a loud repeating scream that caused squirrels in the surrounding trees to begin heckling me. He was pretty still after that, but not dead yet. I used a board to finish the job. The surrounding squirrels continued to reprimand me.
I’m left with a dead squirrel, blood on my porch, house and a box I’m supposed to return to this bedding company, and the unknown of Squirrel Retaliation or Successful Homeland Defense.
What about hanging the dead carcass on a post in the front yard as a warning to the squirrels? My neighbors probably wouldn’t mind.
